There are many areas of our Health and Well-being that we can focus on; exercising to gain strength; working on a good posture; eating a well balanced diet, for health generally and to maintain a healthy weight.
If we have a physical problem causing pain, or embarrassment, we will seek help. At Holcombe Health Clinic, where I hire a room, there is such a wonderful variety of expertise available.
All of the above also have an affect on your Mental Well-being- we know how amazing exercise is for making you feel better in yourself, or how much better you feel when irradiating physical pain, or seeing and feeling the benefits eating more healthily.
I work on the area of Mental Well-being, your Mental Health, in many different ways, helping you to understand how your mind works, how to manage Stress and Anxiety and develop and grow your Confidence and Self-esteem.
Our Mental Well-being is so important to how we function on a day to day basis, how productive we are, and it affects whether we try new things, reach our potential, go for a new job / promotion, how we perform in exams and it affects our relationships – whether with family, friends, work colleagues, and our personal relationships, and most importantly the relationship we have with ourselves.
Stress and Anxiety
Many of us will have had times we have felt stressed, and will understand how it affects our ability to make decisions, increasing the risk of making mistakes, it affects our sleep and causes muscle tension and headaches etc… generally stress is temporary, and when the cause of the stress is resolved- we take a sigh of relief. If stress is prolonged it can cause many other health concerns, so learning to manage stress is important.
Anxiety is something different, but stress can cause anxiety and vice-versa.
Anxiety is generally fear of what may happen in the future – anxiety and fear causes our body to release adrenaline so we are ready to Fight Fright (freeze) Flight (run – or avoid altogether) This is a natural process and is especially useful to us when we are under genuine threat, by keeping us safe or to help us survive. When someone is a ‘sufferer of Anxiety’- then you are in an almost permanent state of Fight Fright Flight to a threat that is mostly not real, our imagination is a powerful thing, however, this usually happens for very good reason. This prolonged state can understandably cause exhaustion and like stress, affect sleep too.
The good news is, that once you understand Stress and Anxiety you can manage it and feel human and normal, for you, again.
Mindfulness is a great way to start- as bringing yourself into the present moment and being present with yourself has a calming effect- just focusing on your breath or taking 3 slow meaningful breaths can help. Just taking time out in nature – even 10 minutes is very beneficial, there are studies around how amazing being outside is for us and our mental well-being, especially being around trees or in lovely open expanses. Another great tool is music, as it has a powerful affect on our mood, and can change our mood in an instant, so having calming or uplifting upbeat music can really help you feel better. Animals also can have a very calming effect, get you out, or make you laugh. Laughter is also incredibly at shifting mood.
Confidence and Self-Esteem
Stress and Anxiety can also have an impact on your Confidence levels. Many things can dent your confidence, and we are all the same in that respect, and may feel more confident in one situation and not another. Confidence therefore can fluctuate depending on circumstances and experiences. Confidence is an ‘intangible’ thing – a feeling, and different for us all, and is also linked to our skills and knowledge and how confident we feel in our ability to deliver what is needed, or to speak out and / or help ourselves or help others.
Where there are deeper confidence issues and low self-esteem (how you feel about yourself) can greatly impact many life decisions, maybe not going for what you want and ‘putting up’ with situations and people. Essentially, it is about your self-worth and feeling confident enough to stick up for You, or to go to an exercise class, or address weight issues, or to go on a date and crucially to say No to what you don’t want.
I find that for many people I see, it has taken enormous courage to take the first step. Once you do, it is important to go at the pace that suits you. Most people fear change, because it is a ‘threat’ to us, an unknown! So small sustainable steps are best.
One thing that can help- is to write down your achievements – start with little things like when you learnt to read and write, maybe you learnt to ride a bike, swim 100 meters… and then keep going! You’ll be amazed.
Also Gratitude is so powerful and positive, think of all the things you are grateful for, small things and big things; like having running water, a lovely close friend, a park nearby, for pets, or things and people who make you smile – this is a great exercise to do daily – get a note book and write down 3 things that made you smile – and do it at the end of every day, this switches your mind to think of the positives – even if the day wasn’t the best day.
I really hope that this helps
Please do contact me if you would like to know more about what I do.
Confidence and Well Being, being able to cope with anxiety and stress – is essential – a priority for you and for staff
I am delighted to be running a 6 week course
The results I have had so far from other courses is amazing and I am so passionate about helping you develop Confidence and feel happier about being YOU and to go forward with what you want to do.
I have published the courses on social media and already had such amazing support and feedback
‘Liz Bylett – This is such an awesome course, I had the pleasure of attending a class that Andre ran which was very similar, yes I am very confident in many areas of my life but I believe we can all learn something new and Andrea’s extensive knowledge in this area inspires and embeds tools and resilience to deal with life’s challenges.
Yes it was brilliant wasn’t it?? Thoroughly recommended! – Julie Quick
I am working with Andrea now and she is amazing . X – Julie B
Sarah Hawes – This course will be amazing if you’re looking to be more confident and happy.
I can highly recommend Andrea – she has changed my life with her hypnotherapy and is such a lovely person – just right for a course like this!’
I hope to see You
Confidence really is from the inside. It is ‘intangible’ and different for all of us, in different situations. When it comes to exam results, regardless of what they are – excellent, or not as good as hoped for – confidence in yourself and your abilities will help you to move forward. If you did not get what you hoped for, all is not lost at all – school is not the end of learning, or the dream of what you want to achieve. There are always options open to you, to either improve on grades, or to look at alternative ways of getting to where you would like to be. Ask any seasoned adult, and they will tell you ‘please do not worry, you will look back and realise that you didn’t need to’.
Do get support if needed and talk about the way you feel, you will be surprised, and how much of a mixture of thoughts and feelings you may have about the next step, whether University, College, Sixth Form, an Apprenticeship or a Job, from excitement – to feeling anxious, or doubting yourself.
Exam results are indeed an indicator of how well you have done in a certain subject, but there is more to it than that, which is where you can take heart, as there are other things that are very important too, and that more and more employers particularly, are looking at:
Your communication skills; with people face to face, on the phone, via email or any other medium, and how you interact with others. (customers and work colleagues of all levels)
Whether you have initiative – meaning that if you see something needs doing you do it, or help colleagues or customers if you can see they need assistance, even if it isn’t ‘your job’ – one employer put it like this:- ‘don’t come and tell me there is an item in the way that could be a trip hazard, move the item, and then let me know you have moved the item out of the way and secured it, because it could have been a trip hazard.’
Being Self Motivated and able to Plan and Organise your work and see the task through within the time allocated to the task – Time Management
Flexibility, in terms of being able to adapt to changing situations and environments
Awareness of how your role fits into the bigger scheme of things for the company, how it relates to those around you and Teamwork
Confidence to either ask for help rather than make a mistake, or admit to having made a mistake, rather than try to cover it up
If you are young, one way to develop these skills is to do volunteering, join a sports group or organisation you are interested in, maybe travel and experience different environments, where you have to organise yourself and learn to budget.
Working on all of these skills, as an enhancement to your exam results, helps put you ahead and gives you the Confidence to be You and enjoy your new experiences – whether Uni, college or work, which then increases your Confidence – and Competence – in your abilities and helps you feel happier and be a happy positive person to be around.
I hope this helps – I can also help with interviews, see a previous post on interview skills
Andrea – Your Confidence Coach
A lot of people who come to see me are suffering with what they think is Anxiety, when in fact it is Stress and overwhelm.
Mindfulness practice can help, even just taking a deep slow breath, and giving yourself a ‘PAUSE’ to then choose and decide how you would like to proceed – even if it is to take some time out from a situation, even for 10 minutes.
Do you need to be saying ‘NO’ to taking on more than you can cope with? If you want to do a great job for someone – which is also taking on their expectations and standards too, coupled with your own – do you really have the time to do a great job for them?
A great way to say ‘No’ is ‘Let me check I have the time, to do a good job for you‘ – then really think about whether you do have the time, or that you even want to do what is being asked of you. you can say ‘No’ but add,’ it’s only No for now, as I’m so busy and can’t take anything else on‘ or is it maybe time that someone took their own responsibility – maybe you could offer to do part of what is being asked – if they also do their bit!
You can question why you may always be saying ‘Yes’
Questions to ask yourself – which can help you with Stress and Anxiety
‘What’s the worst that could happen – really?’ Think about this question – what is the worst really? in some scenarios it could be that someone is unhappy, even angry, that you are not doing what they want. Can you deal with that? probably you can.
‘is how I feel right now helpful to me and the situation?’ then ask yourself ‘what would serve me and the situation better?’ It takes a bit of practice, but if you forget to ask yourself – you will then reflect – which is all a process of learning – do cut yourself some slack – you’re a human, with emotions, and if you are stressed or anxious, your emotions are heightened.
For Anxiety – a great question is ‘where is my evidence that what I am worried about IS going to happen?’ Anxiety is worrying and projecting that worry into the future ‘what if…’ – something that happened in the past, is not evidence for what has not happened yet! If you are able to think instead of the best possible outcome (you can if you can think of the worst!) then your ‘mindset’ changes – into one of possibility – this then means you approach the situation differently, more positively – so the ‘odds’ of things going better than expected are raised.
So, ‘what if…it goes better than expected? that I meet someone interesting, or have fun, or make a valuable connection, or I am able to make someone smile, help them and make their day better?’
YOU CAN 🙂
please contact me if you want to know more
Stress is most normally due to an external factor.
We have all felt ‘stressed’ at times, even ‘super stressed’ when for example it reaches house moving day or starting a new job / business, school or college. Or if there are financial problems, work concerns, or a breakdown in relationships, at home or at work, or family concerns.
We generally do get through it though, because there is usually an end to it, and once the ‘pressure’ is off, you can sigh with relief and the state of feeling stressed will dissipate. It can be frustrating if things don’t go exactly as planned, but we do generally cope, once the cause has been dealt with effectively, or a resolution is found, the stress then lessens and normally goes all together
In certain situations that a certain amount of stress and anxiety is expected and can drive us forward, like when taking an exam, doing a public speech, acting, performing in a competition whether sports, or music etc…
In a work situation feeling pressured into accomplishing a job by a certain deadline, can focus your attention to complete the task, likewise with a written assignment or project, and motivate you to do your best.
We all deal with stress differently and usually manage to alleviate it effectively and positively
Stress is a normal part of life and apart from a heightened level of cortisol, it is usually mixed in with a healthy dose of adrenaline, to sharpen our responses, (not quite to the same level of heightened anxiety which occurs in a threatening or dangerous situation – the ‘fight fright flight’ response, which ultimately can save our life). Though there can be similar physical symptoms due to the release of cortisol, and the adrenal glands releasing adrenaline, like a more rapid heart beat and sweating, but stress tends to not to include feelings of impending doom like anxiety, it is rather feelings of being pressured or frustrated, or ‘up against it’.
However, a stressed state can not be sustained day in and day out, it stops being helpful to you if prolonged, and becomes known as Chronic Stress.
When stress takes over, and you start to feel overwhelmed and constantly time pressured. Having unrealistic demands and goals to reach, in unreasonable time frames, set by yourself or others, and cease to find enjoyment in what you do.