Self-Confidence is trusting in yourself, your abilities and knowing your potential. Self-Esteem is about liking and loving who you are so you can be the best version of YOU ✨
Sometimes I used to worry all the time what people thought about me, and getting things wrong, making mistakes and being a failure.
I strived constantly to do my best to fit in and be someone I wasn’t, to try and be liked and accepted. Often I was a ‘people pleaser’ trying hard to always do my best for others, being flexible, adaptable, not saying NO and taking on too much, and was constantly feeling like I was letting people down, as I was struggling to cope with all I’d given myself to do. I felt quite unhappy a lot of the time.
I always felt I should be ‘strong’ and rarely asked for help.
Things got worse after I suffered a head injury and my Confidence was on the floor, and I liked myself less.
After a long slow recovery, and working on my own Self-Confience and Self-Esteem and finding myself again, I know the amazing benefits, which is why I do what I do, and why I know that if you’re ready to make some changes, I can help you.
Taking a first small step on working on feeling happier about being YOU, leads to another step and another ✨
You deserve to be happy and feeling confident to be your best – when you do, You and everybody around you benefits 😊✨
You can learn to be more confident in yourself and your abilities, to help you in all areas of your life.
have a look at my YouTube video clip – Andrea
Confidence really is from the inside. It is ‘intangible’ and different for all of us, in different situations. When it comes to exam results, regardless of what they are – excellent, or not as good as hoped for – confidence in yourself and your abilities will help you to move forward. If you did not get what you hoped for, all is not lost at all – school is not the end of learning, or the dream of what you want to achieve. There are always options open to you, to either improve on grades, or to look at alternative ways of getting to where you would like to be. Ask any seasoned adult, and they will tell you ‘please do not worry, you will look back and realise that you didn’t need to’.
Do get support if needed and talk about the way you feel, you will be surprised, and how much of a mixture of thoughts and feelings you may have about the next step, whether University, College, Sixth Form, an Apprenticeship or a Job, from excitement – to feeling anxious, or doubting yourself.
Exam results are indeed an indicator of how well you have done in a certain subject, but there is more to it than that, which is where you can take heart, as there are other things that are very important too, and that more and more employers particularly, are looking at:
Your communication skills; with people face to face, on the phone, via email or any other medium, and how you interact with others. (customers and work colleagues of all levels)
Whether you have initiative – meaning that if you see something needs doing you do it, or help colleagues or customers if you can see they need assistance, even if it isn’t ‘your job’ – one employer put it like this:- ‘don’t come and tell me there is an item in the way that could be a trip hazard, move the item, and then let me know you have moved the item out of the way and secured it, because it could have been a trip hazard.’
Being Self Motivated and able to Plan and Organise your work and see the task through within the time allocated to the task – Time Management
Flexibility, in terms of being able to adapt to changing situations and environments
Awareness of how your role fits into the bigger scheme of things for the company, how it relates to those around you and Teamwork
Confidence to either ask for help rather than make a mistake, or admit to having made a mistake, rather than try to cover it up
If you are young, one way to develop these skills is to do volunteering, join a sports group or organisation you are interested in, maybe travel and experience different environments, where you have to organise yourself and learn to budget.
Working on all of these skills, as an enhancement to your exam results, helps put you ahead and gives you the Confidence to be You and enjoy your new experiences – whether Uni, college or work, which then increases your Confidence – and Competence – in your abilities and helps you feel happier and be a happy positive person to be around.
I hope this helps – I can also help with interviews, see a previous post on interview skills
Andrea – Your Confidence Coach
50 things seems like a long list, but it will take you only a few minutes to find something that works for you
We all have challenging times with circumstances that we have created* or situations beyond our control.
*Our thoughts, feelings and actions, or reactions, whether intentional, or without proper thought have a cause and effect, and can sometimes create circumstances we feel we have no control over, or fear facing up to.
Either way, we can feel unhappy, with ourselves, with others, or the circumstance / situation. Feeling unhappy does not help our situation. We can also feel that our level of happiness is at the hands of, or the responsibility of others, or that some ‘thing’ will have to happen to ensure our happiness.
However, there is a lot we can do to change how we feel and get our happy on! This in turn can change the way we feel about ourselves, others and the circumstance and situation, and can lead to us dealing with it, or resolving things in a better, more positive way, which of course then increases our happiness levels.
It can be quite a concept to get your head around sometimes, but what happens when you do, is amazing, as any one situation or person, will not affect your whole day, or week, or whether you feel happy.
I have personally spent time getting my head around this, and it isn’t that I don’t ever feel unhappy, I just don’t ‘live there’! I live more in the moment, and spend far more time engaged in what is going on around me, and being present with others, knowing that I alone control whether I think or feel happy, resulting in my overall happiness levels going up 😊
The key is taking responsibility for your own happiness and knowing that it truly comes from within.
50 things to do, to get your happy on!
- Listen to uplifting happy music
- Sing at the top of your voice
- Dance – maybe look at joining a dance class to learn to dance, or for social reasons or both
- Do a silly dance! Great to do with young children, they love it
- Go for a walk outside – even 10 minutes can help
- Exercise – there is so much you can do: cycling, swimming, running, walking, football, cricket, bowls, go to the gym, aerobics, Pilates, yoga, Zumba, karate, climbing… even better is to buddy up with someone, or join a group.
- Get away from your desk – especially do move away from your desk for lunch.
- Have a power nap
- Write down how you feel and then rip it up – very satisfying and literally gets bad thoughts out of your head
- Shout and scream! Somewhere where you’re not going to frighten anyone! I sometimes go to a quiet beauty spot and sit in my car and yes shout!
- Eat or drink something tasty and nutritional – maybe try out a new recipe, and have fun finding the ingredients, an then cooking the dish
- Eat something that smells amazing like an orange, or use essential oils. Up-lifting smells have a very positive affect on us.
- Watch a comedy, or a funny clip
- Think abut something you are proud of achieving or overcoming
- Think about the people who love you, and who you love
- Be nostalgic – research has shown it helps your happiness levels
- Have a hug – touch is unbelievably therapeutic
- Be with your favourite people
- Stroking and caring for pets, has proven benefits for our happiness and well-being
- Do something childish, with or without a child in tow!
- Plan something lovely to do
- Read poetry
- Do something for someone else, or give a compliment, send a nice message or buying someone dear to you their favourite treat – seeing others feel happy helps boost our own happiness
- Smile – just the act of smiling reminds us to be happy
- or pull silly faces – sounds daft, but the dafter the better – it will make you laugh
- Tell some jokes
- Treat yourself – this does not necessarily mean a purchase, it could be watching your favourite tv show or film, or reading – uninterrupted
- Take ‘time out’ to actually do nothing, day dream, cat nap, just be and relish the silence
- Practice mindfulness – the benefits are huge – and a lot of what has been mentioned is a form of mindfulness – though you can sit quietly and become aware of your breathing, notice the chair you are on, things in the room, or if you are outside
- Meditation – is a deeper level of mindfulness, and can really work for you
- Practice Gratitude – this has an amazing affect, if practiced daily. Try having a note book you write down three things you are grateful for, or that make you smile, everyday either before going to sleep or as you wake up.
- Buy some flowers, for yourself or someone else
- Watch something ‘cute’ – why do you think animal posts and videos rank top!
- Ensue you are getting good quality sleep – have a good bedtime wind down routine
- Have a bubble bath
- Go for a bracing walk by the sea, or in the countryside
- Spend time with family and friends
- Look at photos from happy times
- Do something you have been meaning to do, like read a book, sign up for a course, do some drawing, plan your next trip
- Declutter – it could just be your desk, a draw, or wardrobe / room
- Give items you don’t use to charity
- Maybe sell some items and make yourself some money for a project, or something you want
- Ease off on the pressure you could be putting on yourself, or the need to be ‘perfect. Easing off, actually helps us be more productive, and this then increases our happiness levels
- Get into your pyjamas as soon as you get home and put fresh washed bedding on your bed
- Makes the best hot chocolate ever, with real chocolate and marshmallows!
- Have a break from social media
- Ring someone you haven’t spoken to in a while
- Forgive someone – forgive yourself. Practising forgiveness is powerful and is about You feeling better. It is not about condoning bad behaviour, but about understanding it possibly, or not, but letting go anyway. Maybe it’s you who need to make an apology?
- Being in-touch with how you feel and having a good cry can be just the thing you need to do, to release and let go, so do allow it. It is ok to not feel ok, so long as you don’t then ‘live there’
- Practice ‘switching’ your unhappy thoughts to better, more positive ones and ask yourself things like ‘will feeling unhappy help me?’ ‘what’s the worst that could happen – really?’