Posts Tagged ‘#confidence’
Switching off on Holiday is VITAL to our Health
Many people do not switch off on holiday
With the rise in home working, hybrid working and the ease of technology – many people find they work every day on their holiday or weekends off.
The lines become blurred between work and home life or leisure time
Some workers do have pressure piled on them to perform and be productive, or can risk being missed off the Rota or bonus incentives.
This can cause huge stress and anxiety – leading to Burnout.
Excessive pressure is actually counterproductive as productivity levels actually fall.
Rising stress levels and tiredness leads to loss of concentration – resulting in accidents, which involves monetary costs, loss of hours through sickness or injury and therefore loss in productivity, and risking losing a good reputation.
Mental and Physical Health can be seriously compromised, not to mention what it does to home life and relationships.
Blood pressure can go up, there can be trouble sleeping and tension at home and not being present when you are there.
Strong argument to switch off, however many do not!
So, despite strong arguments for a total detox by switching off – why is it people don’t? Other than the pressures already mentioned, there is also the pressure we put on ourselves.
Sometimes it is FOMO – the Fear Of Missing Out and that maybe things won’t run as well if we are not there!
For some it is the need to provide, to pay the bills and of course this is important and an absolute necessity, but we mostly find – the more we earn the more we spend!
Time is a commodity we cannot get back.
Maybe we are so passionate about our work that we believe we don’t need a break from it – the saying ‘If you love what you do, then you never work a day in your life’ – Great! However, your life generally does not consist of just You, or if it does then where does that leave you, if one day you turn around from your hours of hard work and find you are alone? That may sound profound, however ‘No person is an Island’ and everyone needs balance in their life and times where love and support is needed
Holidays = Priceless & VITAL
Holidays – a total switch off & detox from your normal work routine, regardless of what that ‘holiday’ entails really is priceless
We can have pressures to have super-duper holidays that break the bank – which is not recommended you don’t want your holiday to be cause of more stress and feeling the need to work long hours to pay for it. It can take some careful planning and budgeting, but once you have decided on your holiday – then be fully invested in the precious time off.
Time off makes your happier
Having proper ‘time out’ and ‘switching off’ is something you can’t quantify. Recharging your batteries, connecting with those closest to you, and the things you enjoy doing and having good ‘ole FUN makes you a happier, more connected, balanced, productive person.
Connect and be fully present
Connecting with the people closest to you and being fully present, is something you and they will treasure for all their lives. Children especially value having you around and that you value spending your time with them. When you are always in ‘work mode’ the people around you feel they are not important to you.
Recharge your batteries
Have FUN and rekindle old hobbies or find new ones
Create precious memories
Totally switch your mind off gives you space & helps your find solutions or come up with great ideas
You feel Happier and Healthier
Leave work at work
So, decide how important the things that happen in work are while you are on holiday? What difference could you make from your sun lounger – really?
Plan effectively before you go; delegate tasks, or put them on hold, put trust in your staff (if you have them), let clients know you are ‘out of office’ and look forward to connecting with them when you are back – they absolutely get it.
If you are an employer; showing you respect and value your employees’ time off and their well-being – you get loyal more productive staff. Being valued is number 1 for employees.
Have confidence to set your boundaries and recognise the importance of investing in your health & well-being – you will have the best time and come back refreshed and ready to go.
So, go on – switch that ‘out of office’ on for emails and leave the work phone at home – why not? You have earnt it!
Andrea
Social Media & Mental Health
Social Media is so woven into our lives now and can be a great platform for showcasing amazing stories of success, recovery & resilience that gives inspiration and hope to others.
A common theme in many of these great stories, is the support and love of family, friends and work colleagues.
It can be hard to understand, that for some people these great stories are a difficult read.
Not everyone has loving family around them, or supportive friends & colleagues, for a vast array of reasons, to help them when they are struggling with their mental or physical health concerns or to be their personal cheerleaders.
There are many people who are the ‘rock’ in their family/ friend or business life and feel they ‘have to be ok’ and feel they can’t turn to those closest to them and see their struggle as ‘failure’ when compared to others achievements.
Social Media positive & negative
There are many people who are the ‘rock’ in their family/ friend or business life and feel they ‘have to be ok’ and feel they can’t turn to those closest to them and see their struggle as ‘failure’ when compared to others achievements.
Things to do that may help
- Try taking a social media holiday
- Do not compare yourself, your ‘journey’ to that of others – you are not them and they are not you and mostly you’re seeing a snapshot of what that person has been though to get from A to B. We’re all truly individual and our experiences are our own and we experience everything in our own way too.
- Do look at what inspires you though and what you think you could try, that appeals to you.
- Write down at least 3 things about yourself that you are happy about or proud of – it can be anything
- Get out into nature as much as you can
- Take time to breathe and have ‘time out’ in your day – just for you
- Listen to music
- Write down all your thoughts in a piece of paper – then rip it up or shred it – a great way to get those thoughts you don’t want out of your head
- Join a group activity like learning crafts or walking. It can feel so hard to do initially, but you’ll be glad you did.
- And definitely find deep inside you – the courage and confidence to take the first step to getting some support, whether through your GP or the many organisations who offer tips on their websites, text / chat options or people to speak to over the phone or in person
- It is okay to not be okay and to ask for help
Andrea
Confidence coping with change
Change can be scary or exciting
Something we choose, wish for or not
Learning to embrace and accept change helps us flourish
Resisting change or worse stagnating, can be crippling for our spirit
Having Confidence to step out & make positive changes you choose and choosing, as best you can, a positive mindset for change helps your life flow better
Depending on our circumstances, change can be something we crave and at other times we don’t want something to change or end
Change is a true constant in life and will happen anyway
Mostly change is positive and about growth and moving forward & sometimes it is something we really don’t want and can be devastating, representing a deep learning
We can fear making changes, for many reasons, even if we know the change will be good for us.
“The only thing to fear – is fear itself”
Once we make the change, we generally surprise and surpass ourselves with how we manage to embrace, adapt and enjoy the experience
Having the confidence to embrace change, to step out of your comfort zone, helps you move forward, grow and have the opportunity to embrace new opportunities
Reboot your Confidence
Many people, older and younger have lost their confidence due to the impact of the pandemic and are now experiencing Social Phobia and Anxiety with being in larger groups of people, like crowded shops or functions, and around returning to school, university or getting back to work.
For some people this is a new feeling and for others it has increased after the comparative safety of lockdown, which has gone on for much longer than any of us could have predicted.
After the 19th July this year, more people feel uncertain about the ‘rules’ or etiquette in social or work situations, creating social awkwardness, worries on what is the right way to act around others and feeling unsure about themselves.
For many there is still that wariness around Covid19 and that we are not out of the woods yet!
So, what to do to Reboot your Confidence?
…and to also reduce Social Phobia and Anxiety
Firstly, be kind to yourself and others around you and appreciate you may be a bit out of practice in face-to-face socialising or working and so are other people – which also means they are generally focusing on themselves, not you! Once you have socilaised a few times you will start to feel more at ease.
Talk to others you trust about how you feel – you will be surprised that many people do have similar feelings and opening up is a great way of getting the worries out and feeling better and by having the courage to speak about how you feel could also help someone else who is struggling.
Step by little step – ease yourself into social situations by starting with small gatherings and with work, do speak to your employer and agree to take regular breaks. Most people and organisations do have a greater understanding and will focus on being more aware of mental health and giving support.
For school or University
*young children – the teachers and parents can work together – communication is key on both sides and reassuring the child that you are there for them – maybe they can take in a toy that helps give them reassurance.
*Older children and University students – again, it is about talking about your worries and agreeing a strategy if you are really struggling. Maybe take something like a tactile keyring or pen you like or wear a favourite colour of clothing that helps you feel some comfort and therefore more secure.
*Buddy up with someone and do things together until you both feel comfortable again – which you will.
Fear of doing something can feel big – until you do it
The fear of doing something is always bigger than once you have done it – once day 1 is over you can breathe easier, and you may even then think ‘well that wasn’t so bad’ or ‘what was I worried about?’
*Remember to then give yourself a pat on the back!
Focus on the things that did go well, and if it works for you – write them down – it helps your mind to focus on what was positive out of the day or experience.
**If you feel you can’t talk to people around you, then the 24/7 text service that SHOUT 85258 offers is a great way to get some support.
You can also use ‘visualisation’ – this is using your wonderful and powerful imagination to literally imagine your day going well. Just before you go to sleep, with your eyes closed, see yourself – like in a film or dream – having a good day and smiling – it works. Athletes use visualisation to imagine themselves winning and practice their skills – if you have ever heard an Olympian receive a Gold medal – they say I have dreamt of this moment many times over. If you think you can’t do this – well think again! Anxiety is imagination on overdrive – imagining things going wrong – so with visualisation you purposefully imagine things going well.
Also, I have talked before about pressing, tapping or rubbing below your collar bone if you are feeling anxious about a situation and thinking of someone or something or someone that makes you smile, then imagine your favourite colour and tell yourself ‘I’m OK – I’ve got this’
You’ll be fine by being kind to yourself and trusting that you do know what to do.
Andrea
Five years of being The Confidence Coach
Confidence and Self- belief
Five years ago, I took a leap into the world of working for myself, as The Confidence Coach, doing something I value.
Which is helping others to develop their self-confidence, believe in themselves, overcome fears and anxiety, empowering them to grow as a person, feel happier being who they are and to be their best.
There is no price you can put on the glowing feeling you get, when you see someone else ‘click’ and buy into themselves. Fully embrace learning to like, look after and love who they see in the mirror and making the decision to give themselves a chance to reach their potential and to shine.
I thank all those amazing and inspiring people who have trusted me to guide them.
Over this last 5 years I have had the most uplifting times and also had to dig very deep into the well of my own self-belief.
I’ve got things wrong at times, been naive as a businessperson, felt the strain of working for myself. I have also had simply the best of times, and met so many wonderful people.
I have learnt so much about my chosen therapy area, business, others, and myself most of all; continuing to do so and I would not trade the experience.
Confidence, determination and BALANCE
During the challenges, I have kept the determination to carry on. To keep ploughing away and sowing the seeds of what I believe in. Developing my own expertise, resolve, resilience and confidence along the way.
One thing that I know to be so important, is to keep a balance between working, maintaining health, connections with others, nature and having Fun.
Support and friendship
I could not have survived without the huge support, friendship, laughter, advice, shoulders, and kindness from the people around me, and I am truly grateful.
Thank You
Now for the next Five!
Andrea
Be kind and look after yourself – what does that mean?
How often do you put yourself first?
I have had the pleasure of being on BBC Radio Kent, Pat Marsh’s show, over several weeks now. We have been talking about many things to help your Mental Health and Well-Being.
Today we talked about being kind & and looking after yourself.
Putting yourself first at times matters – it is essential for your well-being to top up your own cup, so you have something to give.
It reduces your stress levels and helps you feel happier, which is better for you and the people around you.
Some people find it hard to put themselves first, worrying that it is a selfish thing to do; which can result on taking on too much, feeling overwhelmed, tired and stressed.
So, how can you look after yourself?
There are several things you can do as listed below, to look after your Mind Body and Soul
- Start by taking the pressure off yourself to be ‘perfect’ or things to be done ‘perfectly’ and to be 100% all of the time. A great question to ask yourself; “Is it fair to expect 100% – 100% of the time?”
- A rule I like to live by is 80 / 20. 80% of the time do what you know you should – 20% of the time do what you like doing. This creates a great balance and avoids you trying to cut things out altogether which can be a hard thing to do – just adding to pressure or stress.
- Eat a wide variety of wholesome foods that nourish and sustain your body and mind. Good nutrition helps to keep your body healthy and more able to fight off disease. When you feel healthly you can do more things well, which helps you feel happier.
- Keep Hydrated Keeping yourself hydrated helps you think more clearly, and your body functions so much better when well hydrated.
- Exercise is good for your Mind Body and Soul – it keeps you flexible and fit, reduces stress, gives you headspace and much needed ‘time out’ and reduces the risk of disease. When are body and mind are healthy we feel so good from the inside out and life flows better.
Other important things are;
- Get plenty of sleep. The benefits of a good sleep can not be underestimated – our mind filters and files our day, our body repairs and children grow. I’m an advocate of the power nap – a great way to top up on sleep.
- Play and have FUN do what you love doing, have fun and laughs – it is so good for your mental well-being. Doing things you enjoy is so important. When was the last time you factored some FUN into your life as a priority?
- Looking after your spiritual health is an important part of over health and well-being – whether it is meditation, religion and prayer, the outcome can be an inner sense of peace.
- Developing Confidence in yourself learning to say YES to what you want to do, and NO to what you don’t want to do, or maybe don’t have the time to do.
- Many people find that little word NO a difficult word to say – so, try buying your self some time to decide what you want to do by saying something like, “Let me see if I have the time to do what you ask, to make sure I can do the best job for you”
- Learn something new learning a new skill not only expands your mind and feeds your interest, giving you a wonderful sense of achievement. As a result of doing something new – it can open up opportunities for new experiences, or friendships.
- BE YOURSELF – You are the only you there is. Embrace who you are. Get to know yourself and appreciate your achievements and skills. This will help you feel so much happier and confident.
There is so much more I could add!
TAKE CARE OF YOU – YOU MATTER
Andrea
Positive things to help you feel happier about Lockdown, as restrictions begin to lift
Focusing on positives helps your Well Being
As lockdown was announced on 23rd March 2020, to restrict the spread of Coronavirus; could we ever have anticipated how much day to day living and the fabric of our lives would change?
That terms like ‘Stay Home’ ‘Lockdown’ ‘Social distancing’ and ‘Pandemic’ would be commonplace in our conversations.
It has been an anxious, and challenging time, with heart aching tragedy for too many. Businesses, schools, whole communities and cities shut and eerily quiet. So many of us missing family and friends and having a hug, being able to meet up for a meal, or celebrate a birthday, a new arrival or to grieve.
However, people have also come together and embraced the sacrifice for the greater good, and for that we should be immensely proud.
“Though we have had and still have much uncertainty and are all in the same storm, as with anything, we will have our own unique experience and how we weather it will be different for us all.”
Our Mental health and Well-being is incredibly important, and more so than ever at the moment.
Thankfully, people are more willing to talk about how they are feeling. People are having genuine conversations – which I really hope stays with us, as people find that speaking out and opening up is so much better, and a far more courageous step to take, than locking down emotionally, especially when people and organisations are so willing and able to help.
If you are feeling anxious, take things day by day, concentrate on what you personally can control and do seek help and support.
Thinking of the positive things you have liked and enjoyed during this time helps you feel happier and uplifted. Try writing them down to keep.
*Spending quality, guilt free time with your family. One young person said to me; how much they had enjoyed reconnecting with their otherwise busy parents! and how good it had been to relax and play games together.
*Having time to appreciate your home, garden and local area – including getting to know your neighbours.
*Maybe, you have read some books for the first time in a long time.
*If you are working from home, it could be how much you have appreciated not having to commute. Some people working from home have found they have been more productive and more connected with colleagues, which could bring about more flexible working in the future?
*You could be a student that has enjoyed home schooling, or a parent that has survived it better than you thought you would, with a new appreciation for teachers?!
*Is it that you can hear the birds singing on your new love for a daily walk?
*Are you one of the many people rediscovering the love of baking or cooking?
*Have you enjoyed the giving and receiving of wonderful acts of kindness and how thoughtful and caring people have been?
*Possibly you learnt how to do video calling and found getting many people together on a call has been easier than you thought, and quite a revelation?
Some people have been worried that they haven’t achieved enough! Do take the pressure off and be kind to yourself, especially as this has been completely new for us all.
Try writing a list or write a journal / story about your experience and credit yourself for the things you have achieved like:
‘I survived home schooling’ or that you actually relaxed and read some books; connected with your family; did more exercise; completed a puzzle, de-cluttered and tidied up; helped others in your family; did acts of kindness for keyworkers and the NHS; like putting art in your window to cheer people up, making masks, donating or fund raising in what way you could. Maybe you took the step to talk about how you feel, or learnt how to use video calling for work, or went on a virtual date…
As we prepare to move forward and Lockdown restrictions to relax further, think of the things you would like to preserve and keep doing.
What have you learnt?
It is important for us to focus on what we have learnt from this crisis, as it is from any crisis. To decide what we would like to take from the experience, especially as it is possible we will never have a time, or time like this again.
Winston Churchill is quoted as saying ‘never let a good crisis go to waste’. Arguably there is nothing ‘good’ about a crisis, however, there are always exceptional creative ideas born from adversity, amazing resilience, bravery and kindness shown by others and from ourselves too, which can surprise us.
This creates an opportunity for us to mine great learning and wisdom, to ensure that what we all have, and are going through, in some way is worth it.
love and light
Andrea
Help with Stress and Anxiety
During these challenging times that we are all going through, it is undersandable to be feeling Stressed or Anxious.
I have created a short video to help you understand any feeling you may be having and how to reduce any anxiety.
I hope helps
Andrea
Developing your Self-Confidence is so empowering – I know!
Self-Confidence is trusting in yourself, your abilities and knowing your potential. Self-Esteem is about liking and loving who you are so you can be the best version of YOU ✨
Sometimes I used to worry all the time what people thought about me, and getting things wrong, making mistakes and being a failure.
I strived constantly to do my best to fit in and be someone I wasn’t, to try and be liked and accepted. Often I was a ‘people pleaser’ trying hard to always do my best for others, being flexible, adaptable, not saying NO and taking on too much, and was constantly feeling like I was letting people down, as I was struggling to cope with all I’d given myself to do. I felt quite unhappy a lot of the time.
I always felt I should be ‘strong’ and rarely asked for help.
Things got worse after I suffered a head injury and my Confidence was on the floor, and I liked myself less.
After a long slow recovery, and working on my own Self-Confience and Self-Esteem and finding myself again, I know the amazing benefits, which is why I do what I do, and why I know that if you’re ready to make some changes, I can help you.
Taking a first small step on working on feeling happier about being YOU, leads to another step and another ✨
You deserve to be happy and feeling confident to be your best – when you do, You and everybody around you benefits 😊✨
Andrea
We all have Mental Health – understanding Mental Health issues is not always easy, we all need support
Mental Health has been a subject well promoted in recent years to create awareness, and for good reason.
After all we all have Mental Health, which impacts every aspect of who we are, the decisions we make and how we cope day to day with the people in our life and circumstances around us and includes our Self- Esteem levels; how we feel and think about ourselves and how Confident we are in our abilities and skills.
Maintaining a healthy Mental Health is essential and priceless, it is different for each one of us. It could be things like; being in nature, doing regular exercise, appreciating music, getting immersed in the arts, and spending time with treasured family, friends and pets – I call it ‘Soul Food’
There are times, for many reasons, when Mental Health could be compromised. No one person is beyond a Mental Health concern, issue, disorder or illness. 1 in 4 people at any one time – from all walks of life. It will always be unique to the sufferer, how it affects them and the people around them. Examples are; Stress, Anxiety, Depression, or Phobias, PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), Neurosis, Addiction, and various other psychological / psychiatric disorders. So, understanding Mental Health is only a good thing, of course, to understand ourselves better, to help people help themselves and to support each other if we can – should our Mental Health falter.
Talking about how we feel if experiencing a Mental Health concern or having someone around who is, like a loved one or work colleague, is important, to start the process of getting valuable help and support, and getting on the road to recovery or learning how to manage the issue and realising we are not on our own.
Making that first step towards seeking help when you are struggling with your own Mental Health or that of someone around you, can take a lot of confidence and courage, but you will be glad you did – there is real strength in it, in no way is it a weakness.
There are many incredible people out there doing their best to cope with and help others, and there is also much support from great organisations, health professionals and therapists, helping us to understand ourselves and others, and what we, or they could be going through. It can sometimes be difficult finding the right support and help initially to suit you – don’t give up though, it is out there, and you can build a good support network for yourself, your family and in the workplace.
Sadly, I’ve seen a few posts recently dissing people around not supporting or understanding Mental Health concerns in others. To my mind we need to all be a bit more supportive of each other and I feel there are a few factors to consider before judging others, which prompted this article.
For most people it isn’t that they don’t care about people who may be having a tough time with their Mental Health, it’s more than likely that they don’t understand, as understanding Mental Health issues is not always easy, and people don’t always know what the right thing is to do and can fear saying or doing the wrong thing.
Some Mental Health issues are actually very complex, don’t make sense and don’t seem ‘logical’ and are difficult to understand. They are also completely unique to the person with the issue / concern or disorder, though there can be certain commonalities.
Sometimes the person affected can cease to ‘see’ the people around them and the impact their current state has on others, which can be hard to deal with and difficult for the people around them to make sense of. It can be upsetting to be around distressing behaviour that you don’t understand and not knowing what to do to help. Many people will try in the best way they know how – without always getting positive results from the person they want to help (for many reasons) and can be left feeling frustrated, hurt, upset, bewildered, and stressed themselves.
There can also be occasions when a person experiencing an issue will hide it, or deny there is a problem, especially from those closest to them, which of course means it is difficult to support them. This could be to protect others, or maybe through fear of losing their job, the possible risk of stigma, being misunderstood or bullied (thankfully things are starting to change for the better on that score).
Some people do fear and are wary Mental Health issues; maybe they have ‘been there’ themselves or had experience of a family member or close friend in their past and it’s too painful to revisit, and they just can’t cope with someone else’s challenging upsetting behaviour at that time.
We can have the most wonderful events, things to strive for and work towards which needs our energy and attention, or our own genuine concerns and stresses to deal with, like having a physical illness, our own Mental Health issues or times when we’re facing something challenging, getting used to a change and dealing with something new, or are feeling hurt, dealing with a tragedy or loss, that is the focus at that time, or just being incredible busy with work and family life.
Life happens and can take over for all of us!
Sometimes people want or need to get on with their own lives, for their own reasons, we can all identify with that. It’s not selfish to and it’s not because they don’t care, but everyone needs times when they put themselves first, to be at their best, to be ok for their own well-being and also to be ok enough to cope with issues and challenges facing them or a person close to them, or to just get on with their jobs and family life. Maybe they are deciding to take the time to enjoy life, the people around them, celebrate achievements and how far they have come -challenges they may have overcome themselves – which is important.
Most people are kind and supportive and doing their very best, however no one is ‘perfect’ and everyone is capable of getting things wrong, making judgments, and hurting people – without the intention to, or maybe just don’t know what to do, so do nothing.
We all have times where we have felt we can’t cope ourselves, let alone with another person too and don’t want to – it isn’t wrong, just human.
A good thing to remember is; regardless of what is going on for you or others ‘You are doing the best you can in every moment, with what you know at the time, and so is everybody else – until you find a better way’
Most Mental Health issues can be overcome or learnt to be managed in a better way. There is definitely hope.
Life’s wonderful experiences and challenges teach us every step of the way – if we choose to and are ready to learn from them and being or feeling ready to face some challenges is key.
Every one of us walks our own path, at our own pace, with its highs and the lows.
Try your best to be kind to yourself and everyone around you
If you’ve read this far – thank You and I’d love to have your thoughts
Andrea