My Summer newsletter July 2017

I will be sharing tips, insights and news on all subjects related to Confidence. I am passionate about what I do and determined to make a difference. Even small changes or shifts can have a big impact on your life, and those close to you.
Being confident is about being happy with yourself, calmly confident with who you are, and that you are unique and have a lot to offer.

‘Be Yourself – everyone else is already taken’

Oscar Wilde

In the News…

I keep an eye on what is in the news regarding Mental Health, and at the moment, it is staggering the amount of current reporting.
Such as – the rise of PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) and that the level of care needed is not always available. PTSD for most people relates to Military personnel, and the care has been criticised by some, for serving war veterans and those who left the military

due to conditions such as PTSD. The things that a lot of people are not aware of is that PTSD is something that can be suffered by anyone who witnesses a traumatic event, or is a victim of trauma. As with anything, there are many levels of PTSD, due differing situations / circumstances and different people and their individual responses. There is also talk of young children suffering PTSD, due to what they can witness on TV, the Internet and social media platforms, and being too young to fully understand and process the information they are seeing.
In all cases early diagnosis is needed, and there is a lot that can be done to help a sufferer and their families.

Another worrying trend reported recently, is the amount of University Students who have Mental Health concerns. The figures are 1 in 3 Female students and 1 in 5 Male students. These figures will represent those who have sort help for mental health issues, or let the University know they are a sufferer, before attending.
As I have mentioned before, the most important thing is to not be alone with any issue concerning Mental well-being – for anyone – and that to talk about what is going on in your head, to people you trust, will only help.

Several reports and ‘infographics’ have been done on the amount of time young people spend on Social Media. It has been mentioned in one report, that the more time the young people spent on social media, the less happy they felt.
Social media to me is a doubled edged sword, as it is a great place to share news, tips and give support, however for those feeling low, and wondering about their own happiness, it can be a place that highlights to them that they are missing out.
Apparently – on average people spend 2 – 6 hours a day on the internet and social media, this did vary according to age categories, and is rising year on year, half an hour more since 2012. It was said that some people spend more time on the internet than eating or drinking, but less than watching TV (I’m not sure how comforting that is!)

On a practical note, I would say it is wise to monitor your own usage, as without thinking 20 minutes can slip by. I find banning my own social media contact when I am wanting to concentrate, helps enormously, I even set a timer for a project, normally 40 minutes, to also ensure I get up and stretch, and get a drink. Another practical tip, is to not look at a device screen for a least an hour before going to bed, due to the blue light affecting the Melatonin in the brain, which induces sleep. You can switch most devices to a night time mode – a yellow, more mellow light.

I have a useful article on sleep – if you would like a pdf version, please let me know

Our Mental Well-being is so important, and recently I have seen clients who are not having any ‘me time’ or ‘time out’ from working, literally working 7 days a week.
We need balance in our lives, we need all aspects of our Self to be replenished – Minds, Body and Soul. When was the last time you just did -nothing? Read a book, did something you really enjoyed like; walking in nature, playing a sport, watching sport, going to the seaside, a spa, visiting an art gallery, going to a country pub, listening to live music etc.?

Another topic that comes up time and time again too with clients, is the enormous amount of pressure and expectation they place on themselves to be a 10, to be 100% -100% of the time, and sometimes they apply the expectation to others too.
My question is: ‘Is it OK, or fair, to expect 100% -100% of the time?’ I’ll let you answer that.
If that is you, give yourself a break, you are human, and in reality, how often in life can you, others and situations be at a 10?
I personally say, a 10 is those amazing precious moments, that make your heart burst with happiness, love or pride, the moments that take your breath away. So, is it fair to expect yourself or others, or situations to be a 10, always?
In my opinion, running at an 8 is incredible, there will be days where it’s a 2 or 3, but that is OK, we all have them. If you’re trying your realistic best, and looking out for yourself along the way, and having ‘me time’ and ‘time out’ with laughs and good times, then hey – you’re doing brilliantly.

Last week I had the pleasure of being on Channel Radio, Business Bunker Xtra, hosted by Amanda Flanders of Butterflies Business Events, and Molly Wright of Molly Moodle media.

I talk about how I got to be the Confidence Coach, so there is a little about my work history, and my personal history, and how I lost all my confidence several years ago. I genuinely know what it feels like to be ‘on the floor’ emotionally and what it takes to re-gain and develop confidence in yourself again.
If you would like to listen, then hear is the link:

I am also open to doing talks on confidence, so if you are interested for yourself, staff or group, then please do let me know.

I am pleased to say, I am part of a new network group called We Mean Biz, I did mention this in my last newsletter.
I am in a leadership group with Adam Lloynds, an amazing personal trainer, and he is the first to admit that he does not like the whole networking scene, until he came across We Mean Biz. Adam and I are running Medway, and the meetings are once a month, over a two-course lunch, at the Bridgewood Manor Hotel, starting on Tuesday the 18th of July.
There is a format and structure, to support you and your business. Every month there is a member 10 minute slot, there is a 20 minute talk from an outside speaker, opportunity to gain advice and support for your business. At the first meetings, the founder Philippa Constable will be there, and the network is very successful in the Bristol area, where she is from.
At the Medway meeting on the 18th July, we have Deborah Turner from You Image Consultancy, as our guest speaker.
There is also a group starting up in Maidstone, with the wonderful Ali Hollands, at Oakwood House Hotel, the first meeting is Thursday 27th July 2017.

If you would like to find out more please book on through these links – there are other dates available too.


I am also a member of Women In Business, a wonderful supportive group for business women. They are all from a variety of businesses, and give their advice and support freely. This is a once a month meeting too, held at the Wisdom Hospice’s Education center, in Rochester on the first Wednesday of a month, from 7pm until 9.30pm. This is hosted by the lovely Grace Kelly, and she provides really tasty food.
Every month there is the opportunity to either hear about a member’s business, or there is a speaker. It is always informative and friendly.
There is an open evening on the 9th August at the Roffen Hotel Rochester, from 7pm. It is free to attend, and we would love to see you there. We have Lynne Parker – founder of Funny Women as our main speaker, the lovely Jemma Fairclough-Haines from Orchard Employment, and myself doing a small slot

One last thing to mention
I did the most amazing thing whilst on holiday – I literally took a leap – and paraglided form 1900ft.


The top two fears are heights / flying and Presenting!
The fear of heights keeps us safe – so that’s OK
The fear of presenting can hold us back – I can help coach you if you need presenting skills, so you feel truly Confident presenting

Facing fears puts them in their place

Stay well and look after You


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