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Facing your fears, changes your life

A much longer post than normal, I’ve always been a writer and if this helps anyone, then that’s great 

#mentalhealthawareness

We are human and we all at times, can feel like we’re fighting the enemy within, trying to escape, bury, tame or pacify our deepest dreaded demons or fears, sometimes to the point of irrationality, even insanity.
Ironically what you fear the most, you generally focus on, or spend all your energy trying to avoid, which actually brings it into your reality, thus re-enforcing the fear.
So powerful are your thoughts.

What I have learnt is: Make Peace with Yourself, don’t fight with your ‘enemy’ within, you will not defeat them, you won’t win.
Get to know them, you will find you want the same thing! to win at life, to survive and thrive, to have success and happiness.
Once you accept this as the truth, you become the closest of allies, working together towards your greater good, enabling you to reach your potential, to be creative and solution focused.

Face your demons and fears head on. Really look them in the eye. What have you to lose by doing so? Identify them for what they are, how they make you feel, and why? because, by facing them what’s the worst that could happen- really?
If you don’t – they will always haunt you, and steel your inner happiness, eat at your self worth, ravage your soul, leaving you empty, exhausted, despondent and unhappy, also anxious and possibly depressed, stagnating, not moving forward or growing, as well as maybe being physically chronically unwell.

As soon as you do face them and get in touch with the emotions they evoke in you, you will realise, that your demons and fears were on your side all along, trying their best to protect you and keep you safe.
Once faced, and identified for what they are, your ‘demons’ become your closest friends, and the fears literally vanish.
Once you do this; Your mind clears, the clarity is incredible and you can then live in your truth, be authentically you, live in each moment fully, having true enjoyment, feeling wonderfully happy on the inside, knowing that’s where your happiness resides for always- regardless of circumstance and any negative people around you. (Do try and remember though, that everyone is just doing the best they know how at the time)
Your physical health will improve miraculously.

Realising the importance and power of nurturing good thoughts, will mean you will always strive to think positively, to switch negativity off and forever focus on making everything as bright beautiful and as brilliant as can be. You will be in the driving seat of your life, making better choices., and being open to opportunities.
Not to say you won’t have times where you feel sad or not in control of situations and circumstances, you may feel frustrated and angry, but you will know to get in touch with how you feel, to let go, and choose different thoughts around the situation – choose to view things in a different way, and feel better, because you know you can.
Only you control how you are, how you feel, and that you just don’t ‘live there’ anymore, in a ‘bad’ negative or defensive place, you’ll choose a better place to be, it is amazing.

For me this also includes sometimes surrendering, and offering up to the universe, what’s going on, and having faith and belief that everything will work out in the best possible way, or that you will grow through having had a valuable lesson.

Change is the only constant in life, and you will learn to naturally go with the flow more, to choose Happy, this becoming your constant.
You will also choose to Love who you are, know yourself better, nurture your body, mind, soul and spirit. Believe in, validate and value yourself and your place in your world, and the world, the universe, as a whole – that everything in your experience – your life, begins and ends with You. Your thoughts, feelings, perception, actions, energy and happiness.

Believe me, it’s possible, you’re worth it, and it works.

Andrea Barker Confidence Coach

A2B – Confidence to be your best You

I am currently running a 10 week course on Confidence, and it is the most amazing experience to see the confidence of the attendees emerging. We have just had week 4 – and the participation, and sharing of experiences is so good, which enhances the learning for all. The environment created is a safe one, where the attendees are supported, and only required to share what they feel comfortable with, and as a group, we all agree to absolute confidentiality ‘Chatham house rules’ – ‘What’s said in the room, stays in the room’

A lot of what we are doing is quite thought provoking and about getting to know yourself better, so you can make better choices for yourself, and feel confident stepping out into new situations, to do what it is you enjoy, to stand up for and look after YOU.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So far we have covered;

week 1 – What is Confidence and Self-confidence? What is confidence to you?

week 2 – Understanding yourself, and how your mind works and what makes you You, getting to Know yourself

week 3 – How we learn and why we kind find change difficult, even if it’s good for us!

week 4 – Perception, Beliefs and stepping out of your comfort zone

week 5 will be – Communication. Saying No and saying Yes. Body language. Getting your message across and being heard

…and so much more over the 10 weeks

I present a subject, and we have discussion, there is active participation, worksheets and lovely things to try and ‘homework’ 🙂

I absolutely Love what I do. Seeing the small shifts, and big leaps people make, the smiles and laughs – is priceless

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Andrea

You can learn to view things in a different way

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We all have times where it’s not another person’s behaviour that surprises us, it’s our own.

This can sometimes be in the positive, though quite often not.Facing up to yourself, even though it can be hard, is the best thing to do. You will never regret it.

To dwell is not to grow, so even if the lesson is a painful one, it is far better to learn from it, than get stuck in blame or regret and beating yourself up.

Try to separate the behaviour from the person.

The person we are, is not our behaviour in times of stress, anger, hurt, feeling uncertain, or unsafe, we are merely doing the best we know how at the time, to survive a situation, not always very well, and usually not with the intention to hurt or harm, but the outcome is rarely good.

Reflect on your actions and take responsibility.

Try to understand yourself better, and what triggered your behaviour, in a kind gently challenging way, as you would a best friend, so that you can be open to finding a way to let go, and learn how to ‘pause’ and choose how you would like to act, rather than to react, in the future.

Do say sorry if you need to, be sincere, and know it may or may not be accepted.

Forgive yourself and others – you’re only human after all, and it’s hard to get it right, all of the time.

If you would like help to feel better about yourself- to step into a better version of you, to understand unhelpful patterns of behaviour you may be experiencing…

Then do get in touch for a free chat

I help you from a place of genuine experience, and wanting you to feel so much better, and embrace who you are.

We all make mistakes- sometimes costly ones, but you can break the cycle and be a happier You

Andrea

A catch up with MOTIVATE attendees

The attendees shared the value of what they had learnt on the MOTIVATE course.

From more efficient task management and completing a whole task, by concentrating on it, and feeling more accomplished at the end of a day, to setting up a writing club, to aid with accountability and also support with getting a book completed, and ticking things off that were on the vision board / wish list.

Amazing everyone – great to hear of the success and that your are moving forward with your goals.

follow up with MOTIVATE attendees

Create the world you want to be part of – Starting with You

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Create the world you want to be part of.Starting with You. 

You be the person you want to spend time with, love and laugh with.

Every thought you have created your outer world.

As within – so without.

Your world begins and ends with a You. You are the centre of your universe. 

I see clients who want so much to be right in their lives, to ‘be happy’ to have the right partner, job, friends, life – once you really get to know You, your true self, and let go of anger resentment frustration and guilt, and concentrate on being the person you would love to be around – everything changes – I know 

Andrea

10 ways to look after MIND, BODY and SOUL

 

 

Our Mind, Body and Soul are linked.

Looking after yourself in every respect, creates balance in your life

You cope well in all areas of your life by looking after You, perform better, reaching your potential, by being a healthy happy You.

Putting You first is not selfish, it is essential.

‘If you’re OK, you world is better’ 

  1. Cleanse your body and keep your mind clear by drinking plenty of water. By staying hydrated – you perform better, it helps your immune system, keeps your joints supple, and aids digestion. You will also have better skin.
  2. Nourish your body with great food, that fuels you, and aids your body to stay healthy.
  3. Make time for You – to do the things that feed your Soul, like art, nature, music, reading, travel or spending time with family and friends
  4. Exercise – to keep your body and mind healthy – the benefits of regular exercise are amazing, helping you to not only keep fit, but to help keep a healthy mindset, to feel energised and to sleep better. I like to exercise outside, and I then feel like I’m feeding my soul too.
  5. Get enough sleep. As we all know, lack of sleep really can make you feel under par, and affects everything that you do. It can lead to feeling stressed, not coping so well with situations and people. Real lack of sleep can lead to accidents too, as poor sleep affects the cognitive ability of your mind, your co-ordination and reaction times. If you think your poor sleep is due to ill health, then you must seek advice from your GP. Do try and have a good bedtime routine, wind down properly, like having a relaxing bath, warm milky drink, cutting out on caffine, switching off devices, listening to relaxing music, or read / listen to a book etc…
  6. Spend time with people that make you feel good, that support you, where you can be yourself. We generally feel happier, if we feel we belong, and are accepted in some way.
  7. Learn to say NO to others so you don’t burden yourself with doing too much for others, at the expense of You, and what you need. It can help to say: “let me check I can do that for you” if someone asks you to do something, this gives you a ‘pause‘ to really think about whether you truly have the time, or want to do what has been asked of you.
  8. Take up mindfulness or meditation – most especially if you suffer with anxiety, stress or depression, chronic illness or pain. The overall health benefits for your mind, body and soul are incredible.
  9. Get a hobby or interest – doing something you love, with likeminded people, and being part of a community, has huge health benefits. You could join a sport group and not only have comeradere but support in terms of getting fit, and quite often make new friends and get a social life too. Maybe something like a photography group, an organisation or charity where it is about helping others, a choir, a walking group, an art class, a local conservation group…the list is endless
  10. The power of music is proven to change your mindset. Listening and dancing to uplifting music, or nostalgic tunes, has an amzing effect on all aspects of your health and mood. If you’re feeling a little down, or anxious, put on a happy uplifting tune, and try not to feel better!

Just 10 ways to feed your Body Mind and Soul – we are all different, and you will know what works best for you, to help you feel happy and healthy.

Make time for YOU – look after YOU

If you want to know more – then do get in touch

Andrea