I will be sharing tips, insights and news on all subjects related to Confidence. I am passionate about what I do and determined to make a difference. Even small changes or shifts can have a big impact on your life, and those close to you.
Being confident is about being happy with yourself, calmly confident with who you are, and that you are unique and have a lot to offer.
‘Be Yourself – everyone else is already taken’
In the News…
I keep an eye on what is in the news regarding Mental Health, and at the moment, it is staggering the amount of current reporting.
Such as – the rise of PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) and that the level of care needed is not always available. PTSD for most people relates to Military personnel, and the care has been criticised by some, for serving war veterans and those who left the military
Click on the play button above, if you would like to hear an interview with me, and find out a bit more on how i became a Confidence Coach, helping others to feel more confident
ADVICE FOR A BETTER SLEEP
Sleep is so important for us. A good amount of sleep rejuvenates us, without good quality sleep we cannot perform well cognitively, we can get grumpy, stressed and be more susceptible to illness, and put ourselves at risk of making mistakes. While we sleep, our sub-conscious mind processes our day, and we dream. Sleep is when our cells repair, which is why we feel tired when we are unwell, as our body only repairs while sleeping. Growth hormone is only active when we sleep, which is why young children and teenagers need their sleep. A typical cycle of sleep is 90 minutes, which is why sometimes you can wake up at an odd hour and feel like you could get up, and other times feel so groggy when woken up.
A guest blog I was invited to do – please click on the link below if it is of interest for you as a small business owner or sole trader – Andrea
A coaches Tips for small business
A small story
Just a small story to highlight how something so small can make such a difference.
I had a new composite door fitted a while back, and I was incredibly pleased with it, until one day the locking mechanism would not work. Unfortunately for me, I was on the outside of my house, and the door would not lock, and would not open, and my back door was locked with the key in the door! I was on my way to a meeting that I needed to attend, so had to leave it. A locksmith came out late that night, as I was out of hours for the door manufacturer, with the total confidence he would get me in through my door ‘in a jiffy’ Nope! He really tried, but was worried about ruining the door. I was stranded.
The manufacturer sent their guy out the following day, with difficulty, he opened the door, stripped, cleaned and oiled the mechanism – bingo, it worked…for one day! He came out again baffled, and as he started to take the mechanism out again, noticed a loose very small screw, less than (I’m guessing here) 0.01% of the entire mechanism of the door, causing the fault!
On the 28th March 2017, I had the pleasure of being invited onto Channel Radio, for the Business Bunker show, by Paul Andrews. This show is to serve and support all local businesses in Kent. This was my first, and hopefully not last, experience of being on a radio show.
Before going on the show, I asked what area of business would people like more Confidence in by doing a poll, asking if it would be in a) Sales, b) Presenting, c) Using the Telephone, or d) dealing with Conflict? Overwhelmingly it was the area of sales.
There are several reasons as to why people feel they need more confidence in this area. Sales ultimately make or break for your business, and of course is a concern.
‘Sales’ is a form of presenting. Presenting is a top fear; people worry they may get it wrong, be rejected, be judged and that people won’t buy from them. It also can be that they are so under pressure, from themselves or others, to perform or reach targets that may not always be realistic. This sort of pressure is picked up on very quickly by customers or potential customers.
- Show your Passion and enthusiasm
- Be yourself
- ANXIETY = EXCITEMENT!
- You are in Control – you know your subject
- Relax and Smile – most people don’t – it is your job to put the audience at ease.
- Depending on where you are – it is your responsibility to do housekeeping e.g. Fire / toilets etc…
- Connect with your audience and their needs
- Telling stories is a good way
- WIIFM – every member of your audience is thinking ‘What’s In It for ME’ if you don’t hook them in with a BENEFIT you may well lose them early on – It is about them – NOT YOU
- Keep the message Clear and Simple
- Remember Visual Auditory and Kinaesthetic – graphs, videos, products, get audience involved
- Be aware not everyone will be interested – but that is OK
- Practice Practice Practice (the 7 P’s = Prior Preparation and Planning Prevents P*** Poor Performance)
- Video yourself, practice in front of a mirror or friends / family
- Don’t be too scripted, so you can be flexible and more natural – remember you do know your stuff and it is ok to have notes to refer to, it just shows you planned, but don’t be tied to them.
- Keep a relaxed confident body language – no over gesturing and be congruent – so what you are saying rings true with your body language – which is 70% of communication
- Eye contact – if you feel nervous – look at the top of a person’s head especially if in a large room. Try not to focus on only one or two people they may feel uncomfortable so go around the room, to make people feel involved, these people could be your potential customers. Project your voice to the last person in the room
- Anchor yourself – standing straight and taking a deep relaxed breath helps – you can also practice the ‘power pose’ before hand – hands on hips and feeling strong, then imagine it, to Anchor yourself before presenting
Keep you presentation Clear, Simple, Concise and Relevant. Depending on the length of time you have 3 to 10 points may be enough for people to take on board – you can always give out extra information after, or invite questions and if you have enticed them enough they will have some. Maybe they will want to buy your book, get on your email list for your newsletter…or want a quote for business and meet you for coffee to find out more
Don’t over complicate or fill the slides
Always have a PLAN B
Be truthful – no wild claims and messing with facts
Clarify and check in regularly with your audience – especially if a long presentation
It is okay to have a ‘call to action’ ie: visit my website for more information. I offer a free Initial Consultation…
Mostly enjoy it as it is a real opportunity for you to get yourself in front of people, to promote yourself and your product or service
WE LEARN THE MOST WHEN WE STEP OUTSIDE OF OUR COMFORT ZONE
GO FOR IT
CONFIDENCE IS AN INSIDE JOB
Relief and management of stress
Find a friend, a work colleague, a family member, your GP or an organisation to support you – you really do not need to cope alone. Find what works for you – Get back to being YOU
30 (plus 1) ideas and tips: to help you manage your Stress levels
- Step back, pause and think about what is at the root cause of your stress? be honest about what really should be addressed, even if painful or embarrassing as facing a problem head on, as calmly and as reasoned as you can, will start to resolve it and you may find help or strategies you were not aware of
- Take responsibility for yourself and your actions, this can be hard – however once you do, the solutions tend to follow, because you are more open to accepting them. If it means admitting you are wrong or sorry – then rise to it and feel the stress lift from your shoulders – and then you can get on with how to fix things
- Change what you can change
- Recognise and accept what or who you are not in control of changing, and change how you VIEW the situation or the person / persons – your view, your thoughts – you do control
Anxiety has been mentioned again on BBC Breakfast, as speculation as to why Singer / Songwriter Will Young has quit Strictly. He has openly mentioned in the past his struggles with Anxiety. Whether you watch the programme or not doesn’t matter. The important thing is it shines a light on the Impact that not having a healthy mental health can have on your life, your family, your job and your business. Below is an article I written.
What is Mental Health?
Mostly the term Mental Health is thought of as the opposite of Health, that is: mental health problems or issues, mental illness and disorders. Not intentionally of course, but it seems Mental Health is being associated in this way.
A definition of Mental Health is:
A person’s condition with regard to their psychological, emotional and social well-being. How we think, feel and act.
The World Health Organisation (WHO) stresses the importance of the positive dimension of Mental Health and says:
‘Mental Health is defined as a state of well-being in which every individual realises his or her own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contributions to his or her community’
Of Health in general the WHO say:
‘Healthy is a state of complete physical, mental and social well -being, not merely the absence of disease or infirmity’
Reading the above statements, really highlights why our Mental Health and well-being are so important for us to look after and invest in. Feeling healthy mentally / psychologically does impact on how we think, feel and act, in all areas of our lives, family life, relationships, socially, at school, college, work and in business, how we look after ourselves and others. Also affecting our general attitude and mindset in how we cope with life’s ups and downs. Being much more than just having a ‘positive mental attitude’.
If we feel mentally healthy we tend to be, and feel, happy, confident, relaxed and are more robust, tending to bounce back from knocks more easily. We have better resilience, which enables us to cope with, deal with and manage effectively, any stresses, changes, people, circumstances and situations that may be challenging in some way, in a healthy, positive, more solution focused way, that serves us and others in a good way. We can evaluate things in a logical way, and feel in control of our life.
Consciously focusing on choosing how we act and react to our world – soon leads to easily, at subconscious level, (without conscious thought) making better choices in everything we do and say, lessening the ‘risk’ of things not being right and therefore the law of cause and effect working for us in a good way.
Having positive Mental Health and well-being, and nurturing it, means we grow in many ways as a person, harnessing our emotional intelligence, meaning we understand ourselves more, and are mindful of how we impact on others around us and situations. We take time to also be mindful and understanding of others, and the actions and reactions they may choose, which could be for a myriad of reasons.
Importantly we have a great relationship with ourselves and will make choices that also enhance our physical health, like the food we eat, what exercise we do, getting enough quality sleep, giving ourselves time for fun, for family and friends, and our interests. Which all in turn improves our Mental Health and well-being.
This all lessens our risk of developing and suffering from prolonged Anxiety and Stress and the related physical impact these can have on our health. Our general physical health is improved and we tend to also have healthier immune systems, meaning less colds and other viruses. Productivity, Motivation and Performance at school and work is increased.
So looking after You from top to toe, from inside out, is incredibly important.
Invest in yourself- your Mental and Physical well-being
Value yourself- be confident to say No to what you don’t want, and Yes to what you do want, which leads to increased confidence.
Teach and help those around you to do the same.
The impact can not be underestimated, life will most certainly be better all round.
When you’re OK your world is better
Do go easy on yourself though too, as not one person is perfect- we don’t always get it right, we all make mistakes and have off days; after-all ‘To err is human’
The important thing is to see ‘mistakes’ or ‘failures’ or changes, as learning opportunities, helping us to grow as a person.
If we for the most part act with good will and conscious thought, and set positive intentions, we will form great habits and our natural daily ‘default’ will be a positive one, leading to positive results.
Our Potential, Productivity and Happiness will Soar and will be a direct reflection of what is possible with positive Mental Health and well-being
The work I do with clients means a lot to me. It is a partnership, a working together. I make sure clients do understand that there has to be a level of commitment from them and a letting go of self-limiting beliefs, to enable them to open their mind to trying some techniques that may seem alien to them at first. The testimonial below shows the amazing power of working together to create positive change.
I had been carrying a lot of heavy personal, sensitive, baggage for upward of 10 years before I met Andrea. These problems were a millstone I just thought I’d have to live with.
Four sessions later and these deep routed issues have simply gone away. It really is the matter of fact – no big eureka moment – just gone.
Andrea is a vey talented hypnotherapist, but it was her hight levels of professionalism in dealing with highly personal issues that allowed me to feel comfortable in opening up.
Life is great and going forward the sessions have been very positive – all good stuff.
I genuinely feel that my demons are behind me and my best days lie ahead.
Pat – Bromley