Why I love what I do – click on the link if you would like to watch the video
We all have times where it’s not another person’s behaviour that surprises us, it’s our own.
This can sometimes be in the positive, though quite often not.Facing up to yourself, even though it can be hard, is the best thing to do. You will never regret it.
To dwell is not to grow, so even if the lesson is a painful one, it is far better to learn from it, than get stuck in blame or regret and beating yourself up.
Try to separate the behaviour from the person.
The person we are, is not our behaviour in times of stress, anger, hurt, feeling uncertain, or unsafe, we are merely doing the best we know how at the time, to survive a situation, not always very well, and usually not with the intention to hurt or harm, but the outcome is rarely good.
Reflect on your actions and take responsibility.
Try to understand yourself better, and what triggered your behaviour, in a kind gently challenging way, as you would a best friend, so that you can be open to finding a way to let go, and learn how to ‘pause’ and choose how you would like to act, rather than to react, in the future.
Do say sorry if you need to, be sincere, and know it may or may not be accepted.
Forgive yourself and others – you’re only human after all, and it’s hard to get it right, all of the time.
If you would like help to feel better about yourself- to step into a better version of you, to understand unhelpful patterns of behaviour you may be experiencing…
Then do get in touch for a free chat
I help you from a place of genuine experience, and wanting you to feel so much better, and embrace who you are.
We all make mistakes- sometimes costly ones, but you can break the cycle and be a happier You
50 things seems like a long list, but it will take you only a few minutes to find something that works for you
We all have challenging times with circumstances that we have created* or situations beyond our control.
*Our thoughts, feelings and actions, or reactions, whether intentional, or without proper thought have a cause and effect, and can sometimes create circumstances we feel we have no control over, or fear facing up to.
Either way, we can feel unhappy, with ourselves, with others, or the circumstance / situation. Feeling unhappy does not help our situation. We can also feel that our level of happiness is at the hands of, or the responsibility of others, or that some ‘thing’ will have to happen to ensure our happiness.
However, there is a lot we can do to change how we feel and get our happy on! This in turn can change the way we feel about ourselves, others and the circumstance and situation, and can lead to us dealing with it, or resolving things in a better, more positive way, which of course then increases our happiness levels.
It can be quite a concept to get your head around sometimes, but what happens when you do, is amazing, as any one situation or person, will not affect your whole day, or week, or whether you feel happy.
I have personally spent time getting my head around this, and it isn’t that I don’t ever feel unhappy, I just don’t ‘live there’! I live more in the moment, and spend far more time engaged in what is going on around me, and being present with others, knowing that I alone control whether I think or feel happy, resulting in my overall happiness levels going up 😊
The key is taking responsibility for your own happiness and knowing that it truly comes from within.
50 things to do, to get your happy on!
- Listen to uplifting happy music
- Sing at the top of your voice
- Dance – maybe look at joining a dance class to learn to dance, or for social reasons or both
- Do a silly dance! Great to do with young children, they love it
- Go for a walk outside – even 10 minutes can help
- Exercise – there is so much you can do: cycling, swimming, running, walking, football, cricket, bowls, go to the gym, aerobics, Pilates, yoga, Zumba, karate, climbing… even better is to buddy up with someone, or join a group.
- Get away from your desk – especially do move away from your desk for lunch.
- Have a power nap
- Write down how you feel and then rip it up – very satisfying and literally gets bad thoughts out of your head
- Shout and scream! Somewhere where you’re not going to frighten anyone! I sometimes go to a quiet beauty spot and sit in my car and yes shout!
- Eat or drink something tasty and nutritional – maybe try out a new recipe, and have fun finding the ingredients, an then cooking the dish
- Eat something that smells amazing like an orange, or use essential oils. Up-lifting smells have a very positive affect on us.
- Watch a comedy, or a funny clip
- Think abut something you are proud of achieving or overcoming
- Think about the people who love you, and who you love
- Be nostalgic – research has shown it helps your happiness levels
- Have a hug – touch is unbelievably therapeutic
- Be with your favourite people
- Stroking and caring for pets, has proven benefits for our happiness and well-being
- Do something childish, with or without a child in tow!
- Plan something lovely to do
- Read poetry
- Do something for someone else, or give a compliment, send a nice message or buying someone dear to you their favourite treat – seeing others feel happy helps boost our own happiness
- Smile – just the act of smiling reminds us to be happy
- or pull silly faces – sounds daft, but the dafter the better – it will make you laugh
- Tell some jokes
- Treat yourself – this does not necessarily mean a purchase, it could be watching your favourite tv show or film, or reading – uninterrupted
- Take ‘time out’ to actually do nothing, day dream, cat nap, just be and relish the silence
- Practice mindfulness – the benefits are huge – and a lot of what has been mentioned is a form of mindfulness – though you can sit quietly and become aware of your breathing, notice the chair you are on, things in the room, or if you are outside
- Meditation – is a deeper level of mindfulness, and can really work for you
- Practice Gratitude – this has an amazing affect, if practiced daily. Try having a note book you write down three things you are grateful for, or that make you smile, everyday either before going to sleep or as you wake up.
- Buy some flowers, for yourself or someone else
- Watch something ‘cute’ – why do you think animal posts and videos rank top!
- Ensue you are getting good quality sleep – have a good bedtime wind down routine
- Have a bubble bath
- Go for a bracing walk by the sea, or in the countryside
- Spend time with family and friends
- Look at photos from happy times
- Do something you have been meaning to do, like read a book, sign up for a course, do some drawing, plan your next trip
- Declutter – it could just be your desk, a draw, or wardrobe / room
- Give items you don’t use to charity
- Maybe sell some items and make yourself some money for a project, or something you want
- Ease off on the pressure you could be putting on yourself, or the need to be ‘perfect. Easing off, actually helps us be more productive, and this then increases our happiness levels
- Get into your pyjamas as soon as you get home and put fresh washed bedding on your bed
- Makes the best hot chocolate ever, with real chocolate and marshmallows!
- Have a break from social media
- Ring someone you haven’t spoken to in a while
- Forgive someone – forgive yourself. Practising forgiveness is powerful and is about You feeling better. It is not about condoning bad behaviour, but about understanding it possibly, or not, but letting go anyway. Maybe it’s you who need to make an apology?
- Being in-touch with how you feel and having a good cry can be just the thing you need to do, to release and let go, so do allow it. It is ok to not feel ok, so long as you don’t then ‘live there’
- Practice ‘switching’ your unhappy thoughts to better, more positive ones and ask yourself things like ‘will feeling unhappy help me?’ ‘what’s the worst that could happen – really?’
The attendees shared the value of what they had learnt on the MOTIVATE course.
From more efficient task management and completing a whole task, by concentrating on it, and feeling more accomplished at the end of a day, to setting up a writing club, to aid with accountability and also support with getting a book completed, and ticking things off that were on the vision board / wish list.
Amazing everyone – great to hear of the success and that your are moving forward with your goals.
My newsletter from February 2018 🙂
Please note, the contact number for your Confidence Coach has changed to:
07973 442 056
✨Create the world you want to be part of.Starting with You. ✨
You be the person you want to spend time with, love and laugh with.
Every thought you have created your outer world.
As within – so without.
Your world begins and ends with a You. You are the centre of your universe.
I see clients who want so much to be right in their lives, to ‘be happy’ to have the right partner, job, friends, life – once you really get to know You, your true self, and let go of anger resentment frustration and guilt, and concentrate on being the person you would love to be around – everything changes – I know
Our Mind, Body and Soul are linked.
Looking after yourself in every respect, creates balance in your life
You cope well in all areas of your life by looking after You, perform better, reaching your potential, by being a healthy happy You.
Putting You first is not selfish, it is essential.
‘If you’re OK, you world is better’
- Cleanse your body and keep your mind clear by drinking plenty of water. By staying hydrated – you perform better, it helps your immune system, keeps your joints supple, and aids digestion. You will also have better skin.
- Nourish your body with great food, that fuels you, and aids your body to stay healthy.
- Make time for You – to do the things that feed your Soul, like art, nature, music, reading, travel or spending time with family and friends
- Exercise – to keep your body and mind healthy – the benefits of regular exercise are amazing, helping you to not only keep fit, but to help keep a healthy mindset, to feel energised and to sleep better. I like to exercise outside, and I then feel like I’m feeding my soul too.
- Get enough sleep. As we all know, lack of sleep really can make you feel under par, and affects everything that you do. It can lead to feeling stressed, not coping so well with situations and people. Real lack of sleep can lead to accidents too, as poor sleep affects the cognitive ability of your mind, your co-ordination and reaction times. If you think your poor sleep is due to ill health, then you must seek advice from your GP. Do try and have a good bedtime routine, wind down properly, like having a relaxing bath, warm milky drink, cutting out on caffine, switching off devices, listening to relaxing music, or read / listen to a book etc…
- Spend time with people that make you feel good, that support you, where you can be yourself. We generally feel happier, if we feel we belong, and are accepted in some way.
- Learn to say NO to others so you don’t burden yourself with doing too much for others, at the expense of You, and what you need. It can help to say: “let me check I can do that for you” if someone asks you to do something, this gives you a ‘pause‘ to really think about whether you truly have the time, or want to do what has been asked of you.
- Take up mindfulness or meditation – most especially if you suffer with anxiety, stress or depression, chronic illness or pain. The overall health benefits for your mind, body and soul are incredible.
- Get a hobby or interest – doing something you love, with likeminded people, and being part of a community, has huge health benefits. You could join a sport group and not only have comeradere but support in terms of getting fit, and quite often make new friends and get a social life too. Maybe something like a photography group, an organisation or charity where it is about helping others, a choir, a walking group, an art class, a local conservation group…the list is endless
- The power of music is proven to change your mindset. Listening and dancing to uplifting music, or nostalgic tunes, has an amzing effect on all aspects of your health and mood. If you’re feeling a little down, or anxious, put on a happy uplifting tune, and try not to feel better!
Just 10 ways to feed your Body Mind and Soul – we are all different, and you will know what works best for you, to help you feel happy and healthy.
Make time for YOU – look after YOU
If you want to know more – then do get in touch
As Janauary draws to a close, I thought I would recap on an amazing month, and start to the year.
I launched this great new website, created by Neil from Clockwork Moggy. Due to his skill, the webiste is much easier to navigate for You.
Carrie, also from Clockwork Moggy, created my wondeful new Logo, which I am so very pleased with. The logo is well thoughout, and represents the completeness and cycle of a circle, the iris of an eye, and the world, there are brain waves and arrows for direction and change, with my intitials within. The colours are my favourite; they are warm, and again they way they are blended represents how we as humans are colourful, complex, and warm, and all that we are is a blend of many things.
I now also have a room at Holcome Health Clinic, on the Chatham / Rochester boarder, with a most wonderful team.
Lou, Julie, Lisa, Tom, Geraldine with many health therapies now offered
I am also running more A2B Workshops, this month the workshop is MOTIVATE – helping you understand Motivation and how to get it, and keep it, and also to understand why we may lack it at times. My workshops are informative, thought provoking and fun. There are many interactive activities, including some goal setting and making Vision Boards. I get great feedback, mostly 10’s – which you will find on my website under testimonials.
I have also given talks on Confidence and mentored in a local school, as well as seeing clients on a 121 basis, for many things like Anxiety, and phobias, fear of flying, anger / stress and feelings of low self worth.
I can talk to you over the phone or via skype, if you would like to find out any more about what services and therapies I offer.
I will be sharing tips, insights and news on all subjects related to Confidence. I am passionate about what I do and determined to make a difference. Even small changes or shifts can have a big impact on your life, and those close to you.
Being confident is about being happy with yourself, calmly confident with who you are, and that you are unique and have a lot to offer.
‘Be Yourself – everyone else is already taken’
In the News…
I keep an eye on what is in the news regarding Mental Health, and at the moment, it is staggering the amount of current reporting.
Such as – the rise of PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) and that the level of care needed is not always available. PTSD for most people relates to Military personnel, and the care has been criticised by some, for serving war veterans and those who left the military