Archive for May 2018

S is for Stress – 30 tips to help you feel less stressed

 

Stress is most normally due to an external factor.

We have all felt ‘stressed’ at times, even ‘super stressed’ when for example it reaches house moving day or starting a new job / business, school or college. Or if there are financial problems, work concerns, or a breakdown in relationships, at home or at work, or family concerns.

We generally do get through it though, because there is usually an end to it, and once the ‘pressure’ is off, you can sigh with relief and the state of feeling stressed will dissipate. It can be frustrating if things don’t go exactly as planned, but we do generally cope, once the cause has been dealt with effectively, or a resolution is found, the stress then lessens and normally goes all together

In certain situations that a certain amount of stress and anxiety is expected and can drive us forward, like when taking an exam, doing a public speech, acting, performing in a competition whether sports, or music etc…

In a work situation feeling pressured into accomplishing a job by a certain deadline, can focus your attention to complete the task, likewise with a written assignment or project, and motivate you to do your best.

We all deal with stress differently and usually manage to alleviate it effectively and positively

Stress is a normal part of life and apart from a heightened level of cortisol, it is usually mixed in with a healthy dose of adrenaline, to sharpen our responses, (not quite to the same level of heightened anxiety which occurs in a threatening or dangerous situation – the ‘fight fright flight’ response, which ultimately can save our life). Though there can be similar physical symptoms due to the release of cortisol, and the adrenal glands releasing adrenaline, like a more rapid heart beat and sweating, but stress tends to not to include feelings of impending doom like anxiety, it is rather feelings of being pressured or frustrated, or ‘up against it’.

However, a stressed state can not be sustained day in and day out, it stops being helpful to you if prolonged, and becomes known as Chronic Stress.

When stress takes over, and you start to feel overwhelmed and constantly time pressured. Having unrealistic demands and goals to reach, in unreasonable time frames, set by yourself or others, and cease to find enjoyment in what you do.

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Confidence session with an inspiring group of Dance Teachers

A wonderful session with The Right Steps Dance – they are so inspiring – teaching dance from young people, to visiting care homes.

We talked around how our minds work, how stress and anxiety can have an impact on us and our clients, how to prioritise tasks, and to not take on too much, by having the confidence to say that powerful little word – No – which can be hard to do sometimes
If your organisation would like a talk, please do let me know

Facing your fears, changes your life

A much longer post than normal, I’ve always been a writer and if this helps anyone, then that’s great 

#mentalhealthawareness

We are human and we all at times, can feel like we’re fighting the enemy within, trying to escape, bury, tame or pacify our deepest dreaded demons or fears, sometimes to the point of irrationality, even insanity.
Ironically what you fear the most, you generally focus on, or spend all your energy trying to avoid, which actually brings it into your reality, thus re-enforcing the fear.
So powerful are your thoughts.

What I have learnt is: Make Peace with Yourself, don’t fight with your ‘enemy’ within, you will not defeat them, you won’t win.
Get to know them, you will find you want the same thing! to win at life, to survive and thrive, to have success and happiness.
Once you accept this as the truth, you become the closest of allies, working together towards your greater good, enabling you to reach your potential, to be creative and solution focused.

Face your demons and fears head on. Really look them in the eye. What have you to lose by doing so? Identify them for what they are, how they make you feel, and why? because, by facing them what’s the worst that could happen- really?
If you don’t – they will always haunt you, and steel your inner happiness, eat at your self worth, ravage your soul, leaving you empty, exhausted, despondent and unhappy, also anxious and possibly depressed, stagnating, not moving forward or growing, as well as maybe being physically chronically unwell.

As soon as you do face them and get in touch with the emotions they evoke in you, you will realise, that your demons and fears were on your side all along, trying their best to protect you and keep you safe.
Once faced, and identified for what they are, your ‘demons’ become your closest friends, and the fears literally vanish.
Once you do this; Your mind clears, the clarity is incredible and you can then live in your truth, be authentically you, live in each moment fully, having true enjoyment, feeling wonderfully happy on the inside, knowing that’s where your happiness resides for always- regardless of circumstance and any negative people around you. (Do try and remember though, that everyone is just doing the best they know how at the time)
Your physical health will improve miraculously.

Realising the importance and power of nurturing good thoughts, will mean you will always strive to think positively, to switch negativity off and forever focus on making everything as bright beautiful and as brilliant as can be. You will be in the driving seat of your life, making better choices., and being open to opportunities.
Not to say you won’t have times where you feel sad or not in control of situations and circumstances, you may feel frustrated and angry, but you will know to get in touch with how you feel, to let go, and choose different thoughts around the situation – choose to view things in a different way, and feel better, because you know you can.
Only you control how you are, how you feel, and that you just don’t ‘live there’ anymore, in a ‘bad’ negative or defensive place, you’ll choose a better place to be, it is amazing.

For me this also includes sometimes surrendering, and offering up to the universe, what’s going on, and having faith and belief that everything will work out in the best possible way, or that you will grow through having had a valuable lesson.

Change is the only constant in life, and you will learn to naturally go with the flow more, to choose Happy, this becoming your constant.
You will also choose to Love who you are, know yourself better, nurture your body, mind, soul and spirit. Believe in, validate and value yourself and your place in your world, and the world, the universe, as a whole – that everything in your experience – your life, begins and ends with You. Your thoughts, feelings, perception, actions, energy and happiness.

Believe me, it’s possible, you’re worth it, and it works.

Andrea Barker Confidence Coach

A2B – Confidence to be your best You

I am currently running a 10 week course on Confidence, and it is the most amazing experience to see the confidence of the attendees emerging. We have just had week 4 – and the participation, and sharing of experiences is so good, which enhances the learning for all. The environment created is a safe one, where the attendees are supported, and only required to share what they feel comfortable with, and as a group, we all agree to absolute confidentiality ‘Chatham house rules’ – ‘What’s said in the room, stays in the room’

A lot of what we are doing is quite thought provoking and about getting to know yourself better, so you can make better choices for yourself, and feel confident stepping out into new situations, to do what it is you enjoy, to stand up for and look after YOU.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So far we have covered;

week 1 – What is Confidence and Self-confidence? What is confidence to you?

week 2 – Understanding yourself, and how your mind works and what makes you You, getting to Know yourself

week 3 – How we learn and why we kind find change difficult, even if it’s good for us!

week 4 – Perception, Beliefs and stepping out of your comfort zone

week 5 will be – Communication. Saying No and saying Yes. Body language. Getting your message across and being heard

…and so much more over the 10 weeks

I present a subject, and we have discussion, there is active participation, worksheets and lovely things to try and ‘homework’ 🙂

I absolutely Love what I do. Seeing the small shifts, and big leaps people make, the smiles and laughs – is priceless

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Andrea